Sunday, January 18, 2009


Is there such a thing as PPS? Parent Protection Services?

If there is, I need to place a serious phone call. Our little angel, Jordykins, constantly beats us up!

He comes over with a sweet little grin, all ready to play, then flog us repeatedly with one of his toys. The worst one I have received was with a Simpson Toy. I didn't see it coming when Ralph sped towards my head doing at least 100mph. He made contact just above my left eye brow. Now this was about 5 weeks ago, and my head is still sore in that spot.

My personal favorite, however, is being peacefully asleep and being woken up by a television remote smashing into my skull repeatedly. Nothing gets the juices flowing in the morning like a good concussion.

Joe has many more tales to tell. My personal favorite is the nose story. Joe was asleep when Jordy thought the best way to wake him up would be to stick his little fingers into Joe's nose. Once as deep in there as he could manage, he rakes his finger nails down the side. Joe woke up to blinding pain and a nose bleed. Oh what fun and merriment ensued.

We have tried to teach Jordan to be nice, to be gentle, but nothing seems to be sinking in. Joe used to get annoyed with the dogs, but now remembers that Pezzy got the concept of "nice" in one afternoon. Poor Jordy still hasn't caught on... Any advice for two battered parents?


Heidi said...

It's always a sneak attack! Always! They lure you in with those big eyes and that little voice and then next thing you know "SON OF A BITCH!"
I remember how Joe got Pezzy to be nice..LOLOLOL.. I think he should be a dog trainer!!!!!

Just keep ducking, never let your guard down, and CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!! or else you will be battered parents and will have to move into a safe house!

Heidi said...

Oh, and tell Joe to get a cup.. that comes next. Ask Joshua. LOL.

Nikki B. said... eyes are watering just thinking about the nose thing!

start throwing things back at him and whacking him over the head with stuff...maybe he'll realize it hurts!! no...then some will call CPS.

whatever you do...stop it before he starts playing with metal tonka trucks and matchbox cars!!! those things would put you in the emergency room!

funny post and thanks for stopping by my blog!

Kameron said...

Damn, I was hoping you had the answer to this. Nathan does the same thing! Is it just the age? It drives me nuts! Sometimes he gets mad when I tell him no and smacks me in the face. Last night he has my keys in his hand, luckily it wasn't a direct shot. I try to tell him but he thinks it's funny. I need an answer too, so if you get one, let me know!

Kameron said...

Poor Jordy with the car seat buckle. I feel so bad when they get hurt, especially if it is my fault. It is so hard when they can't tell you what hurts. :o( I guess he's getting you back with the face hitting...hmmm, I wonder what I did to Natey to deserve payback!!

angela said...

The only thing that has worked for us with this is consistent time outs every single time either of them throws or hits. Every time, even when it's completely annoying and inconvenient. That worked with Ben. Elliott may be another story! Good luck--I feel your pain!