Is there such a thing as PPS? Parent Protection Services?
If there is, I need to place a serious phone call. Our little angel, Jordykins, constantly beats us up!
He comes over with a sweet little grin, all ready to play, then flog us repeatedly with one of his toys. The worst one I have received was with a Simpson Toy. I didn't see it coming when Ralph sped towards my head doing at least 100mph. He made contact just above my left eye brow. Now this was about 5 weeks ago, and my head is still sore in that spot.
My personal favorite, however, is being peacefully asleep and being woken up by a television remote smashing into my skull repeatedly. Nothing gets the juices flowing in the morning like a good concussion.
Joe has many more tales to tell. My personal favorite is the nose story. Joe was asleep when Jordy thought the best way to wake him up would be to stick his little fingers into Joe's nose. Once as deep in there as he could manage, he rakes his finger nails down the side. Joe woke up to blinding pain and a nose bleed. Oh what fun and merriment ensued.
We have tried to teach Jordan to be nice, to be gentle, but nothing seems to be sinking in. Joe used to get annoyed with the dogs, but now remembers that Pezzy got the concept of "nice" in one afternoon. Poor Jordy still hasn't caught on... Any advice for two battered parents?