Monday, January 12, 2009

Is this ever going to end?

I have an awful confession to make....Jordy still sleeps with us most of the time...a lot of the time....okay damn it! If I am coming clean I will just do it! Jordan ends up sleeping in our bed ALL THE TIME!

When he was about 4 months old, I started back on the inpatient service at the hospital and couldn't deal with him waking up every two hours to nurse. I was exhausted! There was no way that I could wake up every two hours and feed him, then get up at 5AM to go round at the hospital, then work until 6PM come home and do it all again. I was sooooo tired.

Joe and I agreed then that we would make him start sleeping in his own bed. For one terrible night we listened to him scream bloody murder for about 4 hours. It was awful. We eventually went downstairs and huddled together around the baby monitor. I cried, Joe cried. We felt just awful. But in the morning Jordy still liked us! He was fine all the next day. The next night we did it again, only when we put him in bed, he rolled over and went right to sleep.

Things were glorious for about two months. Jordy was sleeping like a champ in his own bed, and Joe and I were well rested normal humans again.

Then we decided to go to California to visit family. This one week of vacation permanently destroyed Jordy's sleeping schedule. The time change was hard, we couldn't let him cry b/c we were staying with family, and when we returned to Nebraska things never really got back on track.

Fast forward over a year later, yes that is right A YEAR!! I keep trying to repeat the magical solution of letting him cry for one night, but Joe, having been traumatized by the first time, can not do it!

When we put Jordy down and he cries, Joe makes a mad dash in there like the kid is on fire! Once he goes and picks Jordy up, it is over. The little guy is attached to him like glue. Then before you know it, he is in our bed ripping out my hair at the root and kicking Joe in the pills.

It is even worse now that I am working nights. I am not there to even give Joe a scowl when he goes in there. When I get home from work, I have to fight Jordy for my side of the bed.

Don't get me wrong, I love snuggling with my little Jordykins. I love how warm he is, and all the cute little noises he makes. I love how he breaths, and how he smiles in his sleep. Sometimes he even lets out little giggles. And sometimes, yes it's true, I end up getting him and not Joe.

But now I am starting to become afraid. I picture Jordan being 15 and still in our bed. Tonight I am home, Joe is asleep in our bed, Jordy woke up and Joe jumped up and got him. I took him and returned him to his own bed. He did cry for about 10 minutes total, but now is resting comfortably.

I think I will have to send Joe away for about a week to get the whole sleep schedule down, then I can reintroduce Joe to the mix.

Any suggestions? How on earth do other people do this?


Heidi said...

That is what Joshua did with Ayden and Ayden is 4 now! Let him sleep in the same bed with him until RECENTLY. His parent sjust never put him in his own room and let him go to sleep.It was also what Ayden's egg donor of a mother was doing. Finally I started to make comments like "He is going to sleep with you until he is 14." Joshua swore that he wouldn't and he moved his bedroom stuff out of the smaller room and put Ayden's stuff into it after he had painted the walls, put down some new floor tile, and put Transformer posters all over the walls. This started a few months ago. then we slowly got Ayden used to the room and at first it was a bitch because he would wake up and freak out and wonder where we were. After a few weeks Ayden started to sleep through the night and now we can sleep in our own room!

Kameron said...

I only let Nathan sleep in our bed until he was 4 months old. You have to let him cry. That's how i was for us. The first night I did it I expected a fight but he was asleep in about 15 minutes and it got to be less and less each night. If you don't do it now it will get way harder because he is aware now.

angela said...

I agree with Kameron. You guys have to suck it up and let him cry, and once you make that decision, be consistent. I know it is really, really hard and horrible, but that's the only thing that works. Read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. That book changed our lives!

Grandpa said...

Hi Baby,
You might have a problem down the road later, but I'm sure you will make out OK.

We had you and Heidi trained well; when we brought you home, we just left you in the trunk of the car for a few days. Of course, going out once every eight hours or so to feed you kids. After that you were happy just to be inside the house, and NOT with mom and dad. Bingo! Problem solved. Sure!

Love you kids. Dad